Crazy Transfer Budgets

Look here, chaps. This business of transfer budges is getting all out of hand. John Prescott’s office has been given a 30% more money to do nothing but sit on the bench and hand out the drinks at full time.

Of course the government denies that they're paying an extra £600,000 for an average player but they would say that, wouldn’t they? They claim the money has only been transferred from one department to another. But the sort of sums they’re talking about is enough to make a season ticket holder weep!

When Sunderland’s start striker Alf Common transferred to Middlesbrough in 1905, the fee was only £1000. Yet when Zidane moved from Juventus to Real Madrid in 2001, it was over £45 million. Compare those prices with the money we’re paying for John Prescott who is nothing but a second rate goalkeeper good with his fists. He wouldn’t be able to spit on my shoes when I was at my best and I was only paid my bus fare when I transferred to Fulham back in 1953.

Something smells and it’s not the Tiger Balm muscle rub.