Thursday, February 22, 2007

This Wimbledon Folly

Look here, chaps, you’ll have to write and tell me if you want listing in my blogroll. As you know, it’s a heavy responsibility being the custodian of the nation’s favourite game. I’ve been very busy lately and this is the first time I’ve had chance to update my list of contacts in far too long.

There are so many good blogs out there that I’ve only had chance to list a few of them. It reminds me of every World Cup when I’m asked to list my favourite players. There are just so many to choose from. And the best are not necessarily my favourites. Among the world’s many great goalkeepers, I’d always pick John Prescott (pictured). The man can do things in a goal mouth that I honestly didn’t think possible without half-a-pound of axle grease and a willing civil servant doped up on ether.

Looking out on the world of sport today, I’m left baffled to learn that the prize money between the men and women is to be the same at this year’s Wimbledon. I sit here, scratching my chin in utter bewilderment. I can’t for the life of me understand the reasoning behind this move. When the women play five sets, then they will deserve equal money but, call me an old Match of the Day pundit if you wish, it must surely be equal pay for equal work.

You know, this reminds me of when Sue Barker first joined the BBC. I said at the time that she couldn’t be paid as much as we male presenters. Why? Well, look here, chaps. Knocking a ball over a net is no way to prepare for life within the BBC sports department. If Sue Barker had ever scored five goals for Fulham away to Doncaster Rovers then she might know how to present a television programme or two. She might make a good presenter one of thee days but not until she’s had her legs raked by a defender's studs on a cold rain-swept afternoon in Newcastle.


Anonymous said...

in my shed ive got:

1 cricket ball
1 tennis - ladies & gents compete on EQUAL terms (FA rules, not ladybird)
1 golf ball
1 plastic golf ball
1 skipping rope

Has anyone out there got a newly ironed £5 note?

guanoforks said...

Look here, Anonymous! Since I left the BBC I've not seen a newly ironed £5 note but do have a pair of ankle length socks not worn or washed since 1963 but signed by the late great Stanley ‘Nobbler’ Watson. Do we have a swap?

james higham said...

Sorry to misinterpret your headline. The Crazy Gang - now that's an idea. Think I've still got my old shirt from the Vinnie [not so good as a gladiator but did nicely in Snatch] and Fashanu days. Think I'll start a new blog on Wimbledon Come Home - All Is Forgiven.

Peter Risdon said...

Ah... soccer.

Anonymous said...

£5 by hand buys one item.
£35 through my letterbox buys the 2nd.
all other cash bids received after 1&2 go straight into skip's beer and pie fund.
Please report back through all usual channels at irregular intervals.

I am going to need to know exactely what is going on blow by blow. I do warn you, and all the Fake Shakers out there, that the police are just about everywhere at the mo. We've got loads of ethnics heir and its not unknown for window smashing, anonymous bonfires and illegal gambling to go on way past Newsnight.

Please use exact call sign, which is found on p125. of our manual. Revised anywhere between July 1967 and today (mine cost 40p then).

Oh, and one other thing, My lady wife sleeps right now. Anyone who moves before flag break tomorrow morning will be put on jankers.

Lobster Blogster said...

An impressive start by risdon, just 1 second to get off the blocks.

Peter Risdon said...

No, I had to google.

guanoforks said...

I'll be in contact Anonymous. I'm interested in the skipping rope and golf ball for a prank I intend to play on The Tash.

James. You must blog for Wimbledon. If not you, then who?

Lobster and Peter. Now listen here, chaps. Football. You know, soccer? Wembley stadium? Nation's favourite pastime? Grandstand? No need to google that. Just follow me. I'll lead the way. Just strip off to your shorts and I'll get the wintergreen ready. No then, lads, once round the field to warm up.

Nicodemus said...

Afternoon old chap - Now how does a sporting cove like me get on your blogroll?
I can report on the latest goings-on from Cowes......

guanoforks said...

Nicodemus, you need only ask. You're now added to the roll.